At this point in my life, I’m resigned to the fact that my ultimate goal/wish in this beautifully cruel life is to have an end of life that is anchored by dignity and independence. 

I have failed multiple times in life; marriage, fatherhood, career. I have battled mental illness, cancer, and struggled to stay afloat in the dark seas of self-doubt and shame. 

How can I be a decent father or a decent husband if I’m not a decent person??? 

How can I truly love someone if I don’t love myself?? 

I’m readily available for anything that our creator has in store for me. I only fear the Almighty and the thought of expiring as a crippled burden dependent on someone for a diaper change, shower, and other daily activities.

We are not afforded the ability, opportunity, nor the right to choose our time, place, or manner of our demise. Yet all we are left is with a sincere 🙏 prayer for the Almighty to make the event quick and not prolonged.

Let us not be a burden to our loved ones 
Ameen 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏