Dear Ameer Gibran Khan
It has been 6,683 days since Allah blessed us with this gift (you). You were our first baby and will always hold a very special place in our hearts.  Now I am going to do my best in this email not to go cringe-worthy/boomer/lame on you, but I wanted to say a few words before you move out and on to the next chapter of your life. Even before your birth in 2003, your mother had picked the name “Ameer” for our son and I pleaded, and miraculously won the right for the middle name of Gibran (Legendary Palestinian, author poet, philosopher, and one of my personal heroes in my college years.)  Please note that Ameer in Arabic means, leader, commander ruler, chief.  One of my earliest memories was to encourage you at an early age in computers and higher education.
 The most popular PC in 2003 was the Poer Mac G5 and it cost $2000.  LeBron James was a sensational rookie basketball player and the price of a gallon of gas was $1.59 and the minimum wage in California was $6.75.Your mother, you, and I (Arsala crew of three) traveled, laughed, played with you.  You loved Car toys (lots), Food, and more food.  In fact, a teacher in your preschool told your mom that she will go broke because of your appetite (mashaAllah).
Fast forward to 2010 where our Arsala crew of 3 had expanded to the Arsala TRiBE of 5 with the arrival of Emron Sultan (your brother) and Niloufer (your sister), this tribe was on a beautiful trajectory. But Alas, in August, things came to a devastating halt with my brain cancer diagnosis and then surgery, chemo, radiation and years and years of therapy, medications, extreme mood swings, and worst of all the utter complete defeat, shame, loss of manhood, the defeat of unemployment.  You see, I worked my ass off since the age of 14.5.  As a newly arrived immigrant with broken English working at Taco Bell, cleaning restrooms, floors, smelling like grease at the end of my shift, and happy with collecting a paycheck the minimum wage of $3.35 per hour.  I was so happy as a newly arrived immigrant from my war-torn country.  I spent my teen years and through college in Thousand Oaks, CA.
Oh shit.  There goes my ADHD again.  getting off-topic.  This is NOT about me. This is about YOU, Ameer.  So anyway, after my surgery, your mother was a pillar of strength and a super mom and wife.  She had zero help  ( a little help from your KaKa Sulaiman, my mom on the weekends) and yet she miraculously took care of a very ill husband and the three coyotitos (Ameer, Emron, Nelly) or I used to call you guys 247.  24 hours, 7 days a week (your ages in 2010 when I was diagnosed).  Your mothers’ strength, love, compassion, positive attitude, never-give-up mentality, and supreme faith in Allah gives me goosebumps still.  How the hell did she NOT fall apart all alone with three super young kids and a very sick cancer husband???
from 2010 to 2021, you went through a lot as well. I don’t want to go through the details, but let us just say multiple therapists, specialists, studies, IEP’s, and other treatments for ADHD and other stuff and yet you also inherited your mom’s character of never giving up and always believing in your capabilities.  I also want to add that your mathematical/scientific brain absolutely made you stand above the rest of your peers.  Your conclusions,  philosophical arguments made many people tell me that you should become a lawyer or a computer scientist.  Middle school was rough for you because as a child of a Muslim immigrant in a 98% caucasian area, the other kids were unfairly mean.  Your mom and I were and ALWAYS were absolutely tenacious and brutally vicious against any type of racism and unfair treatment of our kids.  In short, we ALWAYS had and ALWAYS will have your back.  Nobody meaning NOBODY fucks with my kid (says your AFGHAN Momma Bear, Seena Arsala.).

Know that it was always your mom that juggled a very very intense and stressful critical job in the hospital while trying to ALWAYS fix the chaos at home and dealing with my mood swings.  It was your MOM that ALWAYS ALWAYS there for all of her kids and never ever missed a school event/meeting.  It was your mom who ALWAYS ALWAYS provided you with your multiple wants (DS, DS XL, Wii, WiiU, Switch), Rowing, Swimming, Martial Arts, Lacrosse, Basketball, and much much more.  The only piece of advice that I have for you is ALWAYS ALWAYS kind and extremely respectful to your mother.  Maybe not today, but someday bakhaire, you will realize all the sacrifices she made for you.  Hopefully, you will realize this before it’s too late.

I also want to apologize for failing you as a dad and role model.  I don’t want to make excuses about my cancer surgery, chemo, radiation, drugs, the treatment that absolutely changed and scarred me for the rest of my life, BUT the fact that you can not do the basics of washing your dishes, laundry, cleaning your room, bathroom, and other daily tasks makes me incredibly sad. There’s no such thing as a template of how to be a good father and a role model, but there’s no excuse.
Now, as an adult, you are ready to set sail into this unchartered territory of adulthood and I leave you with this :
In the end, we will ALL meet our maker (Allah) and we will have to answer to our deeds and actions and at the end of the day, it’s NOT about how many properties, companies, and Teslas you owned.  It’s not about all the material things, BUT life is about SERVICE to other human beings less fortunate than us (The Orphans, the poor, the homeless, the sick, the hopeless). Because the prayer of that poor woman in Afghanistan, Zimbabwe, Iran, Somalia, Yemen, Iran, Turkey, Spain) is more powerful than a billion dollars.  Son, I may not be alive when you graduate college, but KNOW that I am super proud of you. I believe in you.  I know you will become wildly successful.  I love you.  ALWAYS respect and love your mother.

Ahmad Qais Arsala Jabarkhail”Poor Immigrant” 09/13/2021 1:49 pm PT