After Action/Post Mortem CAL Poly Ameer  WOW drop-off 2021

With an absolutely packed SUV where the Mrs barely had any room to wiggle with the over packed vehicle, we set sail to SLO leaving at 6am. Mind you, the trip should at most take us 6 hours, but after a couple of mishaps (my fault) and me screaming at the stupid Google lady for giving me the long route (ahem, my fault), we finally arrive at our destination at 1:52 PM (Cerro Vista parking lot). All is well and the Mrs and her S are now in a good mood . We grab the ugly green bins and pop the trunk and a few items clang, clang fall on the floor do to our extreme hoarder syndrome (EHS). Just as we were about to begin loading, the nice lady (student?) asks my S , to show proof of Covid negative status via something slime colored smiley face on his mobile phone. He searches and cannot find it. Both he and mom turn to me (you should’ve see their faces all red at me…oops again.) We had done a Covid test last Friday and the testing place too us that it should be ready in 2 business days which would make it yesterday. Perfect, just in time…NOT. I called the COVID testing folks and they told me that it’s not due till midnight tonight. Oh . Now we had to put the clang clang back and force the trunk shut and drive to the long term parking lot so my S and his mom run to the student union to take the Covid test ( pay attention to this). So they jump out of the car so I can park the car as I will catch up with them. So I park the car and jump out ONLY to realize that I don’t have the keys (she accidentally took the keys in her pocket.) I have no idea how the heck I was able to drive and park. I called her and she says “bad time” and hangs up. I have to go to the bathroom really bad and I have an unlocked car full of laptop and other valuables. So she calls me back and I told her that I needed the keys. She told me that she’s at parking lot entrance. So I dashed up there (I reeeeaally need to go to the bathroom) so I try to do horrible imitation of a moon walk and a crazy holloween clown . I grab the keys, get to the car and lock. Once again walking gingerly attempting to avoid landmines and not to upset the intestinal gods, I get to this square area where there’s a swimming pool and a couple of restaurants. The Mrs is not in a good mood because the stupid shuttle to take them to the student union for the Covid test is taking forever. She tells me that I’m going with them to which I replied RUFKM (Are you F’ing kidding me?) That didn’t sit well with her (oops again), but I told her the reason am walking funny is that I really needed to use the potty. She then understood and proceeded to point me to the restaurant. I gently scurried my tushie to the restaurant and asked the nice lady where the bathroom was . She told me that its in the building next door. So I went there as I saw the “Restroom” sign as I was overjoyed with tears in tired eyes. I proceeded to open the door and guess what??? The freaking door to the building to get inside to the bathroom is locked. Apparently you need one of those hotel plastic credit cards (Cal Poly) version to unlock this. I should’ve kept my Marriott from last week so I could pick the lock . So Im still holding. I walk to the next restaurant and asked them about bathroom. They told me to go the building next door. I told them that is closef6. This poor guy saw the sheer terror and trauma in my eyes and let me use theirs which was all the way in the back. It kind of reminded me of the back of the restaurant past the kitchen secret hideouts in Narcos. So finally I had arrived to my location as I felt like I just got jackpot.

So fast forward (like them VHS tapes forwarding) to finally arrive at Cerro parking lot AGAIN. It’s now 4PM as our original check in was 2 pm. The place was almost empty. This time, we loaded FOUR bins. No that’s not a typo. 4 bins. We’re now ready and push these industrial carts up a hill when one of the nice ladies tells me that we cannot leave the car unattended. You should’ve seen the Mrs. She was very mad at them and then Me because she needed help. So just then, 2 angels (girls) approach my Mrs and asked us if we’d like help pushing carts. I said hell yeah. So they all go pushing carts up to Cerro Vista and I go to long term parking (again) . As I approach the street next to the parking lot, I noticed that all these cars ahead of me waiting to get into the parking lot were completely stopped. In fact, the car ahead of me turned off his car. I get out of my car and asked this guy what’s going on. He tells me that these traffic control geniuses are letting the opposite direction traffic traffic enter the lot first for about 10 minutes and then it’ll be our turn. RUFKM.So it took me 20 minutes to park shouldve only be 5 minutes. Then I proceeded to walk uphill when I get the where the F are you call from the Mrs. And sure enough. I’m a freaking psychic now. I was trying to explain to no avail so I just hanged up (all you momma’s know my fate is signed, sealed, and delivered). So I finally get to Cerro and I’m lost. So then I go to this post office little building to show my S address so they can direct me. The young man (shaggy brown hair with freckles) said he was going to lead me there. As we were exiting this office, I saw something from the corner of my . I had to doubletake as we walked by this basked FULL of condoms. They were neatly stacked and each one of them came out with a half a page writing. Now, I couldn’t tell if it was instruction manual, a prayer from the bible or Buddha’s blessings, but I smirked and thought this puts the WOW week into an entire new realm of reality. So then this nice young man takes me to the building and tells me to take this elevator to the 4th floor and then get out make a right and another right and then take that other elevator to the 6th floor and follow the signs to the room. Seemed simple enough (NOT) . 15 minutes later, I finally arrive thirsty, panting and sweating like a pooch walking from the outside. I look completely disheveled and walk in. I notice an 2 adults which I assumed were parents of another kid. The man comes to me frustrated and asks me what took me so long. The fridge is not working and he called it in an hour ago. I’m so exhausted and before I answer his question, my wife runs out and yells at me what took me so long as she needs help with my S room. This lovely couple realize that I’m not the maintenance guy and Apologize. No worries. They actually saved me from the wrath of the Mrs because my wife was laughing and finally things got much much better. She did an award winning job fitting 4 bins worth of stuff. By the time, we were done, it was 8pm. All three of us were super hungry. So I drive to downtown SLO and go to my favorite place and local favorite, Woodstock pizza. The place was absolutely packed out the door with students. I haven’t seen that many beer pitchers ($9 special after 9) since 1997 USC vs Oklahoma college football game. To think that this was a TUESDAY night and these people were getting slammed, I’d hate to see Friday nights. I’m not to pass judgement, but I wondered how many of these kids were under 21. Oh well. So we proceed to drive to Cerro where momma’s giving her final instructions to get “baby” about not hanging with the wrong crowd, study hard, take care of your tummy, laundry, etc. He told her that he’s not going to kindergarten to which I had a secret grin virtual chest bump my son because this is what I’ve been telling the Mrs for months. So after our goodbyes, we’re headed home. It’s10:49 pm. It’s at least a 5.5 hour drive. She wants us to get a hotel to sleep the night. She does have a point, but we have a 14 and 16 year old at home and they have a very hard time waking up. So I convince her and I drive. I have to go get gas and go to the bathroom. I grab coffee and get ready to pay. The man behind the counter rings up and asks me how my days going. I loved this question. I busted to a happy dance and told him that I had successfully completed my 18 year painful project and kicked my S out of the house SIX hours away to fend for himself at. CAL POLY SLO. He laughed so hard and gave me the coffee for free. He told me that he knows how I feel vec6 he has a teenage son where some day he will dance for joy like me.

So fast forward, we get home at 3:29 am. Go to bed at 4. I wake up at 6 and sure enough kids slept through alarms. 2 hours f sleep. I’m a zombie now.

Melatonin here I come. Thanks